Author: Wendy N. Lapidus-Saltz
When you coach women on attracting relationship as I do, youget a bird's eye view of what can go wrong when a woman looksfor the potential love-of-her-life. Fortunately, I usually knowwhat to do about those things. I'm going to tell you, though youmay not like hearing what I have to say. So read, take a breath,be honest with yourself, and consider making some changes. Hereare the usual problems:
1. You're desperate and it shows.
You'd think there's not much more to say about that, butthere's the problem: most women don't know they look desperate.And yes, you can look desperate without actually beingdesperate. You may just be on Desperation Highway, headingtoward Desperation, but not there yet. Clues? You're passingWorried Road, Concerned Boulevard, Agitated Avenue, and NervousCircle.
If you can't tell where you're at, ask a good, honest friend—orseveral. They'll set you straight.
So how do you avoid feeling or looking desperate? Be sure toenjoy your life as it is now, guy or no guy. But don't fill itso full that you can't make room for the right one when he showsup. Truly enjoy your friends and your freedom. Relationship isgreat but it does give you someone to sort-of "answer to," nomatter how independent you are. Right now you don't have thoseconstraints, so live it up.
2. You keep mentioning your age and the lack of possibilities.
One of the things I do in my mind-coaching practice in Chicagois hypnosis.
And I have to tell you that hammering yourself—and others—aboutyour age and how it's too late, etc.—is self hypnosis at itsbest. I mean best as in most powerful.
Of course the effect of all this negative self hypnosis is theworst. Because it's exactly the opposite of what you want.
Want to hypnotize yourself? Learn how. And learn how to makethe suggestions positive, life-affirming, supportive andpointing toward your goal (getting the right guy, right?) andnot away from it.
3. You specifically reject the guys who would make great husbands.
Guys who'd make good husbands are often not glamorous, dashing,arrogant, or lying scums. They rarely look like Hollywood'sleading men. Nor do they act like those men; this includeshaving a new galpal every month.
Looks don't last. Wounds to the heart unfortunately do.
4. You're looking for the same guy you looked for at age 16.
You were cute then but stupid about love. Which was okay at thetime because you weren't looking for Mr. Forever or even Mr.For-A-Very-Long-Time. Now you are. Update your thoughts,opinions, goals and hunting spots.
You're not wearing the same wardrobe you wore in the 80's, areyou?
5. You ignore the best places to meet guys because they're notglamorous.
Church/synagogue/temple/mosque; places where people with yourinterests congregate; homes of friends of friends of friends;work (complicated but often worthwhile—make sure he'sunattached, bonus if you don't work together directly).
6. You ignore the best guys because they're not glamorous.
Tell the truth. You're attracted to the glamour boys eventhough you know they're heart breakers. Yes, Jolie seems to beholding onto Pitt for now (check the fan rags tomorrow becauseit may have changed) , but they share an exclusive culture. Forevery degree of heat your man exudes, there are fifty womenvying for his attention.
Sometimes the guys without fab muscles, bountiful hair, bedroomeyes or honeyed words to exploit are the best catches. They meanwhat they say, they stick around, they use their brains, andthey don't hog the mirror.
If you can find a guy who really lights you up without lightingup the entire room, you likely have a keeper. Hint: if youdecide to redo his hair, wardrobe, and cologne, do it after thewedding. And don't say I didn't warn ya.
©2007 by WendyLapidus-Saltz.
All rights reserved.
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About The Author: Wendy Lapidus-Saltz, principal of Jaguar MindLLC,
is a mind coach certified in hypnotherapy, NLP and otherdisciplines.
She created the Hypno-Attraction® Hypnosis for LoveCD and workshops on the topic of love and relationship. Heroffice is located in Chicago's Gold Coast area.
Websites:http://www.hypno-attraction.com
andhttp://www.nonsmoker4life.com
http://www.isnare.com/eta.php?aid=203868
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